Bears

Remember growing up, in school, about twice a year you'd have to practice fire drills and tornado drills?  You know, you'd march out into the parking lot in a single file line until the principal said it was alright to come back inside.  Or the tornado drill where you had to sit in the hall with your head between your knees?  At least those were the drills I had as a kid in the Midwest.

I think my kids had the same kind of drills in Virginia.  When we moved to Okinawa, I thought it was interesting that the kids didn't have the tornado drill, but earthquake drills instead.  You know, everyone under the tables until the earth stopped moving.

And of course, as a sign of the times, the kids have "lockdown" drills for when there is a madman running around wielding a gun.  I think I'd rather have an earthquake.

But when the kids came home this week and told me about their drills I had to laugh for in addition to the earthquake, fire and standard lockdown drills, they also had to practice for a "modified lockdown" - ie. the Bear Drill.  Yes, folks, the kind of place we now live in has the potential for a stray bear to walk through the playground and when that happens the kids are not aloud to leave their building.  I guess that's fine if you're in the main building, but I pity the ones stuck in the portables!

And just to reinforce that we now live in bear country, today the kids and I were taking a walk in a local park when I noticed this brochure on the information board...

I probably should have kept walking and not pointed it out to the kids because they worried throughout the whole walk that we were going to get attacked by a black bear (and to be honest, so was I!)  I stopped to read the brochure because I truly wondered what you are supposed to do if you round the bend and come face to face with an oversized, mad teddy bear.  You know what they suggest to do?  Stay calm.  Great, I'll try that.  Also avoid direct eye contact, which might be difficult for my border collie who relies on staring to do his job.

They also say to "identify yourself as a human by standing up, waving your hands above your head and talking".  Ha!  Is that what identifies us as human?

It goes on to say, "Because black bears can reach speeds of up to 30 mph, running away is not a wise decision."  OK, I know I can't outdo 30 mph so I'll be standing still.

Finally, it says that if the bear decides you would make a nice meal, your best option is to "aggressively fight back" - yep, figured that out already.  But as a last resort, the brochure advises you to curl in a ball or lie flat on your stomach and play dead (but don't move or look up until you're sure the bear has left!)

After considering these options, I think I might make a trip tomorrow to Cabella's for some bear spray.